SusanIsk.com

I have my annual review at work coming up in a couple of weeks. I’ve found it especially difficult to receive feedback – it’s difficult for me because it feels so personal. It’s a challenge to separate the way I work from who I am. Since I have already had two reviews (the 3 month and the 6 month), I feel a bit better prepared for the “Big Kahuna.”

The things I have realized about myself and my peers that I plan to keep front of mind are:

• I am a sensitive person – I really care what other people think of me.
• If people didn’t care about me, or have written me off, they wouldn’t bother giving me feedback.
• Everyone has a distinct working style – what works for one person may not work for another.

My goal for the upcoming review is to receive the feedback with an open mind, and to apply the lessons I learn from it to my interactions with colleagues as appropriate.

How have you learned to embrace the review process?

I have a namesake! I just learned that the “Pregnant Man” named his new baby Susan. I don’t really care to give my opinions on the fact that there was a “Pregnant Man” and I don’t really want to hear your opinions on it either. I do, however, wish to parlay some advice to the Susan of the 21st century based on my 20-some-odd years as a Susan.

What are some nicknames I can expect?
Of course you’ll get “Lazy Susan,” even if you’re not lazy, and “black-eye” (for Black-Eyed Susan, the type of wildflower), even if you haven’t just been punched in the face. There are also the rhyming nicknames, Boozin’ Susan, Crusin’ Susan, etc. People will call you Susie/Suzie – I knew from a young age that I hated this nickname. “My name is SUSAN,” I’d tell my teachers as early as pre-school – I hope you’ll stand up against the Suzie too. You’re lucky, people will NEVER mispronounce your name. My poor colleague Jadea (a beautiful name pronounced Jade-uh) has had to put up with everything from Jad-e-a to Jad-e-uh.

Will I ever want to change my name?
I’ve always been OK with Susan. It’s not as cute as a Katie or an Ashley (both lovely names, mind you) and at one point, I tried to convince my peers that my name was spelled S-U-S-E-N because I thought that “E” made it a bit more unique or cute. Consider integrating the following symbols into the traditional spelling of Susan for some unique flair without drastically changing your name: S ù ú û ü s à á â ã ä å ñ.

Who are some of the famous Susan’s in history?
Well, of course there was Susan B. Anthony, the famous suffragette (thanks to her, you’ll be able to vote in 2026) and Susan Lucci, the soap opera actress famous for 18 failed Daytime Emmy nominations in a row (she finally won on her 19th try). But please don’t forget some lesser-known Susan’s (not including yours-truly) including Susan Moller Okin, a feminist and political theorist who was the bane of my existence during my freshman year political science class when I had to present a discussion of her critique of justice titled “Justice, Gender, and the Family,” and SUSAN (no last name), a famous Japanese pop singer popular in the early 1980s.

Will I be made fun of?
Probably. People will probably pick on you because your dad was born a female … but guess what? Kids get made fun of for all sorts of reasons – their hair is too curly or they’re short or they’re not as smart as the rest. Just realize that you’re lucky that you have two parents who love you (no matter what their gender).

Will I be smart?
Of course. You’ll be able to do things like speak foreign languages fluently and find derivatives before you can drive and learn that when people leave anonymous comments over the internet, nothing is really anonymous thanks to IP tracking. Think about it – your name is Susan. It isn’t Shanaynay or Inspektor, you already have a lot going for you!

But there are no other Susan’s my age!
It’s true that most Susan’s were born pre-1965, but look at it as you’ll always be the only one in your classroom with your name. I remember in school having several Jennifer’s and Katherine’s and Ashley’s and they’d have to go by their first name and last initial, you’ll always be “just Susan.”

Signed,
One “Just Susan” to another

Let’s talk about living off of mommy and daddy for a minute. I have noticed lately that a lot of my peers who are struggling to retain decent jobs continue to live the lavish lifestyle they were used to growing up. If you are 23 years old making $25,000 per year and have a luxury apartment filled to the brim with Pottery Barn furniture and closets full of J. Crew clothing, you are not an adult. If your credit card has your name on it but you never see the bill, you are not an adult. If you could care less about what gas costs because you’ll just put it on Daddy’s Mobil Speedpass, you are not an adult.

I don’t think there’s anything weaker than not trying to make it on your own. If a kid decides that they want to venture out “on their own,” they should do it ON THEIR OWN. I see a lot of my peers moving to New York (I tried it for a summer, but it was hard living off of boxed noodles and freeze-dried vegetables) and miraculously finding themselves living in luxury doorman buildings on the Upper East Side. Their parents gave them the gifts of education and growing up in “the greatest nation in the world,” isn’t that enough?

It makes me ill (ill, I tell ya) to see all of these kids feeding off of their parents just because they can. I could too, if I wanted to. If I asked hard enough for just about anything, I’m sure my parents would cave in. But I don’t ask (at least I try not to – if I have a humongo dental bill that will put me into debt for the next twenty years, I see nothing wrong with asking to BORROW a few bucks). Just because someone’s daddy is the president of a multinational investment-real estate-law-hedge fund firm doesn’t mean that the kids shouldn’t learn how to support themselves. Goodwill sells couches; Target makes nice clothing. I’m the kind of person who likes nice things; that is why I have so little “stuff.” I save (hoard) my money until I have enough to buy something nice. My costliest possessions are my bedroom set, my car and my computer; I have no item of clothing that costs over $50 (except for my hiking boots and my business suit, how’s that for a contrast). I cannot wait until the day that I am dressing MYSELF in luxury brands and living in my own doorman condo.

How can someone have a sense a pride by doing nothing more than relying solely on someone else?

Friday: Fourth of July - enjoyed the room at the Stein Eriksen Lodge and especially the hot tub on the deck overlooking the mountains. Drove into Old Town Park City for the 4th of July Parade (rode to the parade in one of the Lodge’s shuttles; a hybrid Lexus SUV). Evidently this “roudy” parade is to poke fun at the Mormons who hold a more “tasteful” parade later in the summer. Following the parade, returned to the Lodge, located in the Wasatch Mountains, and hiked to the highest peak in the area (over 9,000 feet) … and then took a chair-lift back down. It was my first ride on a chair-lift. Following the lift, moved into the condo at Bear Creek Village that was to be “home” for the week.

Saturday: Visited Olympic Park, where many of the competitions were held during the 2002 Olympics. Sat in a bobsled and watched the Saturday Freestyle Aerial Shows where world-champion freestyle skiers did their tricks and landed in a huge swimming pool (no snow in the summer, you know).

Sunday: Went white water rafting down the Weber River. Met a fun family of Texans - definitely one of a kind.

Monday: Visited the Golden Spike National Historic Site, located on a peninsula that jets into the Great Salt Lake. This is the spot where the Transcontinental Railroad met. Then visited Antelope Island, the largest island in the Great Salt Lake. 600 buffalo live on the island, I spotted one.

Tuesday: Returned to St. Louis.

What’s up with a lack of tact in today’s society? I might have failed out of cotillion in junior high and I might not like to tuck in the shirts that my mom insists I tuck in, but I know when to keep my yapper shut. Whether it’s in business or social, I’ve really noticed that people fail to think before they speak.

Here are four recent examples of the offenders and my responses:

THEM: You don’t look so good today.
ME: I was actually digging this outfit, but now you’ve obliterated my self-esteem for the day.

THEM: My pet could have written this better than you.
ME: Then why did you hire me?

THEM: I can’t believe you spent so much money on an Audi – what a waste.
ME: I can’t believe you spend $5 per day on cigarettes. At least my Audi can’t kill me (actually…I take that back).

THEM: Would you mind watching my dogs while I go on a vacation with our mutual friends? Oh yeah, I’m going on vacation with our mutual friends and you weren’t invited.
ME: Suck it.

OK, now I’m going on vacation for a week where I need not worry about tact; I don’t know a single person in the state of Utah.